Worse and worse.

Worst of all
I can't shed a tear
In spite of this
Prostrating fear
A nauseating sadness

There's a wall. I can feel it coming on whenever I listen to particularly emotional music. As of yet, I haven't managed to break through it.

Even worse, in fact
The tears just wait
Year after year
As they swell the floodgates
My nervous system is overflowing

The wall is impenetrable. Completely. No crack in the fortress betrays a weakness. Nothing can escape. I'm beginning to wonder who built this wall.

And worse still!
Is being self-aware
For those that are fine
They needn't care
But if something's wrong, ignorance is bliss

The very worst thing, I swear this is the worst, is that I know that eventually the wall has to break. Something's going to shunt the wall in the right spot and a brick will come loose. And I can't tell if I'm terrified or excited for that day to come.

And everything will bleed
Into itself
By no fault
By accident
When the floodgates
Loose themselves