Tarmac.

Went to a dark place today. Not literally, of course; I don't just turn off all the lights and shut the blinds for the fun of it. Nah, I got all broody like, like a proper musician and all. No, no deeply unsettling, beautiful prose erupted forth from my ennui-riddled stupor, I just didn't get out of bed until three hours after I had awoken, opting instead to wile the hours away in mindless science-fiction. The sheer number of commas in that sentence is pretty unsettling though. So I wandered through today, in a haze of adolescent, hormone based misery. I didn't even get any work done. That's a big deal, a monumentally big deal. Even when both cats died within a week I managed to get two essays done. And now, for no reason apparent to me, I'm struck with a complete inability to complete given tasks, save make tea and be sarcastic. Then again, I didn't really like the cats all too much.

Right! Focus! Go, introspection, go! This shadowy shadow of sorts has no obvious source or catalyst. Under normal circumstances of course you'd find the source of one's emotional entropy and attack it. With kittens or something, something nice and preferably fluffy. But, alas, alack! We are doomed to wander the great labyrinth of analysis for an answer, an answer that will in all probability never reveal itself. So, essentially, I'm miserable and I don't know why. FUCK.

-

If the lighting hits hard

When the tarmac weeps

If all hope shatters to shards

When the highway sleeps

The rain dogs won't come out

Their scents washed to the wind

Above the clamour you'll shout

Of no intention have we sinned

This blackened river hides

These stains are nobody's fault

No barriers, no sides

A shuddering halt

If the impact hits hard

Give your soul to keep

Drop that vague facade

Watch her crumple in a heap

-

Am I writing about car crashes because I'm woefully despondent? No. I would've anyway.